Tea for Two  

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  •   Introduction 
  •  Lottie visit to Mabel ends 
 
  •  Audio Transcription taken from the file “Tea for Two” by Alfred Pragnell
    Characters being portrayed are :- Mabel Grimes and Lottie Crichlow
    File begins with Alfred Pragnell speaking
    Alfred Pragnell
    “Tea for Two”
    And it starts off with a knock on the door.
    Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, knock, knock, (sound)
    (Applause heard from the audience) 
  • Lottie
    Anybody there? 
  • Mabel
    Lottie, come long in soul, the door open, me glad enough to see yuh 
  • Lottie
    Child, I can’t stop long, I going here at Ursil to see if she got any cerasee bush, the head swinging this morning fuh so. 
  • Mabel
    O, loss, I sorry to hear, child why you don’t sit down and rest yuh self.  Tell the truth I ain’t feeling too good muh self; last night I had the bad feels and the palpatations bad enough. Seymour had was to get up and put the smelling salts to muh nose. 
  • Lottie
    You know what you should tek for that, aromatic spirits of ammonia, it good fuh the heart. Dear Aunt Dorothy uses to tek it all de time, and she live to see three score years and ten and then a next ten. 
  • Mabel
    Why, I must get some then, with all these complaints only mean we getting down yuh know.  Boy, wuh last Friday gone I duh 49 years, so hum, you would know wuh happening. (Laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Seymour home? 
  • Mabel
    No child, he gone down to town to see if he could buy a few shingles, the shed roof leaking and the rain like it want to wash we way. Anyhow, I got the clothes out there bleaching and I going just make a little tea.  You want some, you could have coffee tea, cocoa tea, or green tea.  (Laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Thank yuh, soul, thank yuh, I like ah suffering with a little gas this morning, too.  Some hot green tea in the stomach would do good to break the air. 
  • Mabel
    But now you say so, how Hyacinth feeling now nuh?  I understand she had to go up to the horspital up there in England, she was making a baby or something? 
  • Lottie
    But looka you, I know England far, but you like you live in the hickeys or something, wuh you must be the onliest person that ain’t hear Hyacinth dead, two months gone now. 
  • Mabel
    Lottie, nooooooooooo!! 
  • Lottie
    Uh huh child, she did had the baby and everything, but she turn round and catch a lining cold, and when yuh hear the shout, she dead, just like that. (laughter from audience).   
  •  Mabel
    Well He knows best. But I always tell yuh, Hyacinth ain’t  had no right up in England.  Seymour tell me that when he was over there with the transport, he nuses to get a graveyard cold every time winter come round, and he is a big able strapping man; so what you think about Hyacinth. 
  • Lottie
    Child, Hyacinth won’t hear, she know she never had nuh constitution. (Laughter from audience) 
  • Mabel
    Well, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. 
  • Lottie
    I only hope she did accept the Saviour as she say before she pass off. 
  • Mabel
    Talking about that, you know Garfield Boyce preaching now? 
  • Lottie
    Preaching!!!!! How yuh mean preaching?  And Garfield Boyce – that ray mouth fellow that look like a god-horse; the one that does live with Beryl Cox sister-in-law? 
  • Mabel
    The said very one (laughter from audience).  The womens got he looking so boh!!!!.  Anyhow I know he was up in the pulpit Thursday night gone when Pastor Griffith had that young people meeting. 
  • Lottie
    Well, looka he nuh!!!! Flying in the face of God, but everbody know he does, he does… He is preacher now?  Well I ain’t know what this Barbados coming to; Pastor Griffith should know better to got a ram goat like Garfield Boyce up in the pulpit. 
  • Mabel
    Well, Pastor Griffith ain’t no better than Garfield (laughter from audience).  He only look so, but he does tek all the people good, good, girl children and spoil them (laughter from audience).  When the day of judgement come he going got so much to account for, nobody else ain’t going get a chance with Gabriel. (laugher from audience)  Well the people now-a-days ain’t a damn bit of good.  Looka Bertie Jemmott. 
  • Lottie
    Bertie Jemmott!!!! What happen to he? 
  • Mabel
    You tell me I live in the hickeys, but Lottie you like you ain’t living at all!  Wait you ain’t know Bertie Jemmott chop Stella Leacock in she head last night out there by the pipe. 
  • Lottie
    Lord mek peace! 
  • Mabel
    Yes soul, you know Stella left he out fuh she last child father….. well Bertie catch she by she self last night and start sharing blows, my little boy say blows fuh days (laugher from audience)  But Stella get way and start to run and that big mouth brute Bertie leh go a rock stone and hit she in the back part of she head…. Lord have his mercy, but Lottie you mean to tell me you ain’t hear about that at all – fuh true; wuh the police was out there and all, duh carry Bertie down to the Main Guard and poor Stella in the horspital this morning… 
  • Lottie
    Lord, I hope she don’t turn foolishy, foolishy like Elise Bascombe second boy – cause since he fall out that breadfruit tree and hit the back part of he head, duh keep sending he up and down to Black Rock (laughter from audience) 
  • Mabel
    Yes, yes I remember Elise nearly went off she self that time. 
  • Lottie
    I wonder what become of she doh!! 
  • Mabel
    Elise? I hear she gone to Canada to do servant work, she think she young you know. 
  • Lottie
    You know one of she daughters get married yesterday. 
  • Mabel
    Ef I know?!!... wuh I was at the wedding, soul. 
  • Lottie
    You went? 
  • Mabel
    How yuh meaning, wuh I did looking fuh you … what happen you wasn’t there. 
  • Lottie
    Eggs don’t go at big rock dance, soul (laughter from audience) – Since she get and thief that piece of cloth fuh me to wear to the exhibition, I ain’t has no nuses fuh she. 
  • Mabel
    Irene?!!! Hey wuh I thought she did  one worker that never thief people cloth; and she come up decent yuh know, and went to piano lessons and thing. 
  • Lottie
    Child, moon run till day catch it.  Let me hear bout the wedding; how the old starve out brute look? 
  • Mabel
    Obzocky nah, you ever see Irene looking like anything? Anyhow child she arrived at the church in the same car as the bride-groom. (laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Ha, but nobody don’t do that  
  • Mabel
    Well, you know Irene get left at the church already; that time she was to marry Lionel Yearwood half-brother that come from over and away, so she mussie wasn’t going tek no chances this time. 
  • Lottie
    Irene was to married before? Wuh I didn’t know huhhhhhhh (laughter from audience).  But who would believe a parjo poppet like she could catch one man far less two. 
  • Mabel
    Deed, nuh, but you shoulda see she yesterday, saying she taking vows, she had on a short, short dress 
  • Lottie
    Wait, Irene marry in a mini? 
  • Mabel
    Yes, boh!!! You know she must always do everything different to everybody else.  The dress had a low, low neck, cut down to she navel, showing all she chest  
  • Lottie
    And, Mabel, you know that Irene collar bone could hold in soup.  
  • Mabel
    Ha Ha Ha Ha, Lottie, where you does get these things from, nuh? 
  • Lottie
    She really look bad fuh true? 
  • Mabel
    The Lord love the truth soul, and if Irene Bascombe look like a cou-cou stick, I isn’t to blame fuh that. Child yuh want some more tea 
  •  Lottie
    Thank yuh, I really enjoyed that cup, you like yuh know I don’t like my green tea too strong 
  • Mabel
    But I was telling you bout Irene. You should have see she stepping up the aisle, like some gawling and the bridesmaids look just as bad 
  • Lottie
    Who duh was nuh? 
  • Mabel
    Zelda Bourne did one, big fat Eleanor Haynes and Mona Sandiford (laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Mona Sandiford, Mona Sandiford!!!! A red girl with glare eyes that live in Dayrell’s Road (laughter from audience) 
  • Mabel
    Ah huh, she, the three of them look like the rackets dead.  Zelda had on electric blue, Eleanor dress was lime green and Mona Sandiford own did a mauvy, mauvy, something like she gine to a funeral.  They look awful and bad.  Especially Eleanor wid she big, fat self. 
  • Lottie
    I think I see she now, (laughter) lime green and she like the S of spade.  Don’t think not, and you know she got the  picky hair dye up red now. 
  • Mabel
    Lottie, what yah saying soul, you remember the time a man pick off she wig with a umbrella point getting out the bus (laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    (Laughter from audience)  Wuh, I could forget that, wuh I laugh til’ I near dead that day.  She making she self a regular mop stick every time she aunt come back from America, she is a whole Yankee now too, she catch the twang from the aunt.  Eleanor  mess up, but she never went as far as Pelican.  But tell muh Nita was at the wedding? 
  • Mabel
    Nita Hutson?  Man, how yuh mean – you know she din going miss that and she look sharp yuh know –she had on a gold and black dress, gold gloves, gold shoes and a gold bag and a big able picture hat with a gold band, cock pon a side, but I tell yuh that woman look sweet, hear.  
  • Lottie
    Nita could always dress, yuh know, BUT.... 
  • Mabel
    You should have see she son Lofton but he look like he acting nuh, if you ask me 
  • Lottie
    How yuh mean? 
  • Mabel
    Well, child, you know he in this afro fashion nowadays and he don’t wear suits for a joke. Wait Lottie!! 
  • Lottie
    You trying to tell me Loftus had on them confuse looking clothes he does wear bout the place 
  • Mabel
    That is what I telling yah!  I ain’t know what the young people coming to. Child Loftus had on one of them long things like a nightgown, make out of African print with some big able things like bat wings and some flowered pants if yuh please and don’t laugh, that wasn’t the best, he had all 10 (ten) toes at the door.(laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Wait, he ain’t had on no shoes? …at the wedding?. 
  • Mabel
    You hear wuh I tell yuh; Loftus had he two (2) broad foots pun show, some long beads around he neck and a red, white and blue stick in he hand, and yuh know the whole lot of musty hair he always got pun top he head and all over he face, nobody won’t believe he’s 19, he look like, Bar-Jesus  I ain’t making nuh sport.   Wuh Loftus like he bewitch, you ever see he wid he hair in cornrow? 
  • Lottie
    Me boh, wuh I would laugh. 
  • Mabel
    He say he looking fuh he roots if yuh please! 
  • Lottie
    Roots!!! He must be a ackee tree. (Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha)  Mabel, don’t make me laugh, but all sport aside, a lot of young people just like Loftus yuh know, say duh is one back to Africa group.  I don’t know why the hell they don’t go long back to Africa and done. 
  • Mabel
    Deed, child but you can’t do a thing with the young people of today who ain’t gone on maud, gone mad.  But looka Monica Mapp niece, she was at the wedding too, yuh know, wringing up she self like some corkscrew (laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Wuh she had on this time? 
  • Mabel
    Huh!! Hot pants, if yuh please, and boots and a piece of cloth tie up round she head, and she look just like “oh death where is thy sting”. (laughter from audience) Ha Ha Ha Ha  Lottie, Lottie, Lottie, yah mouth ain’t got no cover, yah know, that is a good one. 
  • Lottie
    Anyhow I waiting to see the pictures in the paper, duh bound to be in this Sunday coming  
  • Mabel
    Child, all you going see is Irene looking like a bare neck chicken, skinning she teeth like a roast dog.  Beresford didn’t look no better neither, he coulda really find a better suit to married in. 
  • Lottie
    Wuh do it? 
  • Mabel
    Child, it was tight, tight, tight like he borrow it from he little brother.  The tailor that make that jacket should make another one like it and dead. (laughter from audience) 
  • Lottie
    Who was the tailor nuh, anybody from bout here? 
  • Mabel
    Uh huh, one Duck Brathwaite a man woman that move out here couple months back.  You know he, he clear skin, but he got a face like a grater.  He is family to Eunice Hunte, and I hear he learn the trade in Glendairy. 
  • Lottie
    Wait, you mean Mavis Roach brother-in-law? 
  • Mabel
    Huh huh, Lottie watch yourself yuh (laughter from audience)  that boy is my second cousin from my mother aunt side.  Left she out fuh me please. 
  • Lottie
    Left out he, left out he?  Wuh let meh tell you soul, Lottie Crichlow never pay taxes fuh she mouth yet and if Duck Brathwaite is a man woman and a jail bird he is a man woman and a jail bird, and if yuh he does chop up people clothes, he does chop dem up, right. 
  • Mabel
    Yuh isn't bound to wash yuh mouth pun the young man so, Lottie why you don’t keep your saviour. 
  • Lottie
    But look who talking, Mabel Grimes when is the last day you see a church door, bohsie. 
  • Mabel
    Or you too shame, since you thief the people money you did to collect for the harvest. 
  • Lottie
    So long as I ain’t  thief the false teeth the big guts man you got put in yuh mouth to try to make yuh look young; but you could never look young, yuh ain't know, yuh got to get them duppy tucks out yuh face first (laughter from audience) 
  • Mabel
    Check yuh self and yuh find out what old, yuh old poor great shunna-foot poppet. Looka, looka, let me go long bout me  business before I sin muh soul in here today. Go long, go long, good riddance to bad rubbish too; get yuh old hard self out muh house, yuh poxy face bread fruit swopper 
  • Lottie
    I got house too bohsie and Praise Christ mine don’t leak! 
  • Mabel
    Looka woman guh long or it going be me and you in here today.  I sorry enough I didn’t had little duppy dust to put in yuh tea. (erupted laughter from audience) 
     
 
    Glossary

    About - Bout
    Could have - Coulda
    Did - Duh
    For - Fuh
    Go - Guh
    Let - Leh
    Look - Looka
    Make - Mek
    Must be - Mussie
    My - Muh
    No - Nuh
    On - Pun
    Take - TekThat - Dah
    Them - Dem
    They - Duh
    Uses - Nuses
    What - Wuh
    With - Wid
    You - Yuh
    Your - Yuh
    Bad feels - Not feeling right
    Cerasse Bush - a very bitter bush used for making tea
    Duppy - A ghost or spirit
    Eggs don't go at big rock dance - Do not go where you don't fit in
    Lining cold - a cold caught by a mother just after child birth
    Obzocky - to be weird looking or misshapen
    Onliest - the only one
    Poppit - an idiot
    Shunna Foot - someone with bad ankles or flat feet

 
    Audio Transcription taken from the file “Tea for Two” by Alfred Pragnell
    Characters being portrayed are :- Mabel Grimes and Lottie Crichlow
    File begins with Alfred Pragnell speaking
    Alfred Pragnell
    “Tea for Two”
    And it starts off with a knock on the door.
    Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, knock, knock, (sound)
    (Applause heard from the audience)

    Lottie
    Anybody there?

    Mabel
    Lottie, come long in soul, the door open, I am glad enough to see you

    Lottie
    Child, I can’t stop long, I going here at Ursil to see if she got any cerasee bush, the head swinging this morning for so.

    Mabel
    O, loss, I sorry to hear, child why you don’t sit down and rest yourself.  Tell the truth I ain’t feeling too good myself; last night I had the bad feels and the palpatations bad enough. Seymour had was to get up and put the smelling salts on my nose.

    Lottie
    You know what you should take for that, aromatic spirits of ammonia, it good for the heart. Darred Dorothy uses to take it all the time, and she live to see three score years and ten and then a next ten.

    Mabel
    Why, I must get some then, with all these complaints only mean we getting down you know.  Boy, well last Friday gone I was 49 years, so huh, you would know what happening. (Laughter from audience)

    Lottie
    Seymour home?

    Mabel
    No child, he gone down to town to see if he could buy a few shingles, the shed roof leaking and the rain like it want to wash we way. Anyhow, I got the clothes out there bleaching and I going just make a little tea.  You want some, you could have coffee tea, cocoa tea, or green tea.  (Laughter from audience)

    Lottie
    Thank you, soul, thank you, I like a suffering with a little gas this morning, too.  Some hot green tea in the stomach would do good to break the air.

    Mabel
    But now you say so, how is Hyacinth feeling now?  I understand she had to go up to the hospital up there in England, she was making a baby or something?

    Lottie
    But look at you, I know England far, but you like you live in the hickey or something, well you must be the only person that ain’t hear Hyacinth dead, two months gone now.

    Mabel
    Lottie, nooooooooooo!!

    Lottie
    Yes child, she did had the baby and everything, but she turn round and catch a lining cold, and when you hear the shout, she dead, just like that. (laughter from audience).   

    Mabel
    Well he knows best. But I always tell you, Hyacinth ain’t had no right up in England.  Seymour tell me that when he was over there with the transport, he uses to get a graveyard cold every time winter come round, and he is a big able strapping man; so what you think about Hyacinth.

    Lottie
    Child, Hyacinth won’t hear, she know she never had no constitution. (Laughter from audience)
    Mabel
    Well, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.
    Lottie
    I only hope she did accept the Saviour as she said before she passed off.
    Mabel
    Talking about that, you know Garfield Boyce preaching now?
    Lottie
    Preaching!!!!! How you mean preaching.  And Garfield Boyce – that ray mouth fellow that look like a god-horse; the one that live with Beryl Cox sister-in-law.

    Mabel
    The said very one (laughter from audience).  The women’s got he looking so boo!!!!.  Anyhow I know he was up in the pulpit Thursday night gone when Pastor Griffith had that young people meeting.

    Lottie
    Well, look at he now!!!! Flying in the face of God, but everybody know he does, he does… He is preacher now?  Well I ain’t know what this Barbados coming to; Pastor Griffith should know better to got a ram goat like Garfield boy up in the pulpit.
    Mabel
    Well, Pastor Griffith ain’t no better than Garfield (laughter from audience).  He only look so, but he does take all the people good, good, girl children and spoil them (laughter from audience).  When the day of  judgement come he going got so much to account for, nobody else ain’t going get a chance with Gabriel. (laugher from audience)  Well the people now-a-days ain’t a damn bit of good.  Look Bertie Jemmott.

    Lottie
    Bertie Jemmott!!!! What happen to him?

    Mabel
    You tell me I live in the hickey, but Lottie you like you ain’t living at all!  Wait you ain’t know Bertie Jemmott chop Stella Leacock in she head last night out there by the pipe.
    Lottie
    Lord make peace!

    Mabel
    Yes soul, you know Stella left him out for she last child father….. well Bertie catch she by she self last night and start sharing blows, my little boy say blows for days (laugher from audience)  But Stella get way and start to run and that big mouth brute Bertie let go a rock stone and hit she in the back part of she head…. Lord have his mercy, but Lottie you mean to tell me you ain’t hear about that at all – for true; well the police was out there and all, they carry Bertie down to the Main Guard and poor Stella in the hospital this morning…

    Lottie
    Lord, I hope she don’t turn foolishy, foolishy like Elise Bascombe second boy – cause since he fall out that breadfruit tree and hit the back part of his head, them keep sending him up and down to Black Rock (laughter from audience)
    Mabel
    Yes, yes I remember Elise nearly went off she self that time.
    Lottie
    I wonder what become of she doh!!
    Mabel
    Elise, I hear she gone to Canada to do servant work, she think she young you know.
    Lottie
    You know one of her daughters get married yesterday.
    Mabel
    If I know!!... well  I was a the wedding, soul.
    Lottie
    You went?
    Mabel
    How you meaning, well I was looking for you … what happen you wasn’t there.

    Lottie
    Eggs don’t go at big rock dance, soul (laughter from audience) – since she get and thief that piece of cloth for she to get make to wear to the exhibition, I ain’t has no uses for her.

    Mabel
    Irene!!! Hey well I thought she was one worker that never thief people cloth; and she come up decent you know, and went to piano lessons and thing.
    Lottie
    Child, moon run till day catch it, let me hear about the wedding; how the old starve out brute look?
    Mabel
    Obzocky now, you ever see Irene looking like anything; anyhow child she arrived at the church in the same car as the bride-groom. (laughter from audience)
    Lottie
    Ha, but nobody don’t do that 
    Mabel
    Well, but you know Irene get left at the church already; that time she was to marry Lionel Yearwood half-brother that come from over and away, so she must be wasn’t going take no chances this time.
    Lottie
    Irene was to married before? Well I didn’t know huhhhhhhh (laughter from audience).  But who would believe a parjo-poppet like she could catch one man far less two.
    Mabel

    Deed, now, but you should have see she yesterday, saying she taking vows, she had on a short, short dress

    Lottie
    Wait, Irene marry in a mini?

    Mabel
    Yes, boo!!! You know she must always do everything different to everybody else.  The dress had a low, low neck, cut down to her navel, showing all she chest 

    Lottie
    And, Mabel, you know that Irene collar bone could hold in soup 

    Mabel
    Ha Ha Ha Ha, Lottie, where you does get these things from, now?

    Lottie
    She really look bad for true?

    Mabel
    The Lord love the truth, soul, and if Irene Bascombe look like a cou-cou stick, I isn’t to blame for that. Child you want some more tea Lottie
    Thank you, I really enjoyed that cup, you like you know I don’t like my green tea too strong

    Mabel
    But I was telling you about Irene. You should have seen she stepping up the aisle, like some gawling and the bridesmaids look just as bad

    Lottie
    Who they was now?

    Mabel
    Dezza Bourne was one, big fat Eleanor Haynes and Mona Sandiford (laughter from audience)

    Lottie
    Mona Sandiford, Mona Sandiford!!!! A red girl with glare eyes that live in Dayrell’s Road (laughter from audience)

    Mabel
    Ah huh, she, the three of them look like the rackets them is.  Zelda had on electric blue, Eleanor dress was lime green and Mona Sandiford own was a mauve, mauve, something like she was going to a funeral.  They look awful and bad.  Especially Eleanor with she big, fat self

    Lottie
    I think I see she now, (laughter) lime green and she like the S of spade.  Don’t think not, and you know she got the picky hair dye up red now.

    Mabel
    Lottie, what you saying soul, you remember the time a man pick off she wig with a umbrella point getting out the bus (laughter from audience)

    Lottie
    (Laughter from audience)  Well, I could forget that, well I laugh until I near dead that day.  She making she self a regular mop stick every time she aunt come back from America, she is a whole Yankee now too, she catch the twang from the aunt.  Eleanor mess up, but she never went as far as a pelican.  But tell me Nita was at the wedding?

    Mabel
    Nita Hutson?  Man, how you mean – you know she wasn’t going miss that and she look sharp you know –she had on a gold and black dress, gold gloves, gold shoes and a gold bag and a big able picture hat with a gold band, cock on a side, but I tell you that woman did look sweet, hear. 

    Lottie
    Nita could always dress, you know, BUT!!!

    Mabel
    You should have see she son Lofton but he look like he acting now, if you ask me

    Lottie
    How you mean?

    Mabel
    Well, child, you know he in this afro fashion nowadays and he don’t wear suits for a joke. Wait Lottie!!

    Lottie
    You trying to tell me Loftus had on them confuse looking clothes he does wear about the place

    Mabel
    That is what I telling you!  I ain’t know what the young people coming to, child; Loftus had on one of them long things like a nightgown, make out of African print with some big able things like bat wings and some flowered pants if you please and don’t laugh, that wasn’t the best, he had all 10 (ten) toes at the door.

    Lottie
    Wait, he ain’t had on no shoes …at the wedding

    Mabel
    You hear what I tell you; Loftus had he two (2) broad foots on show, some long beads around his neck and a red, white and blue stick in his hand, and you know the whole lot of musty hair he always got on top his head and all over his face, nobody won’t believe he’s 19, he look like, Bar-Jesus  I ain’t making no sport.   Well Loftus like he bewitch, you ever see he with his hair in cornrow?

    Lottie
    Me boh, well I would laugh

    Mabel
    He say he looking for his roots if you please!

    Lottie
    Roots!!! He must be a ackee tree. (Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha)  Mabel, don’t make me laugh, but all sport aside, a lot of young people just like Loftus you know, say them is one back to Africa group.  I don’t know why the hell they don’t go on back to Africa and done.

    Mabel
    Dee, child but you can’t do a thing with the young people of today who ain’t gone on mad, gone mad.  But look Monica Matney, she was at the wedding too, you know, wringing up she self like some corkscrew (laughter from audience)

    Lottie
    What she had on this time?

    Mabel
    Huh!! Hot pants, if you please, and boots and a piece of cloth tie up round she head, and she look like “oh death where is thy sting”. (laughter from audience) Ha Ha Ha Ha  Lottie, Lottie, Lottie, your mouth ain’t got no cover, you know, that is a good one.

    Lottie
    Anyhow I waiting to see the pictures in the paper, they bound to be in this Sunday coming 

    Mabel
    Child, all you going see is Irene looking like a bare neck chicken, skinning she teeth like a roast dog.  Beresford didn’t look no better neither, he could really find a better suit to married in.

    Lottie
    What do it?

    Mabel
    Child, it was tight, tight, tight like he borrow it from his little brother.  The tailor that make that jacket should make another one like it and dead. (laughter from audience)

    Lottie
    Who was the tailor now, anybody from about here?

    Mabel
    Uh huh, one Duck Braddle a man woman that move out here couple months back.  You know he, he clear skin, but he got a face like a grater.  He is family to Eunice Hunte, and I hear he learn the trade in Glendairy.

    Lottie
    Wait, you mean Mavis Roach brother-in-law?

    Mabel
    Huh huh, Lottie watch yourself you (laughter from audience)  that boy is my second cousin from my mother aunt side.  Left she out for me please.

    Lottie
    Left out he, left out he, but let me tell you soul, Lottie Crichlow never pay taxes for she mouth yet and if Duck Braddle is a man woman and a jail bird he is a man woman and a jail bird, and if you is to chop up people, you is to chop them up right.

    Mabel
    You is bound to wash your mouth on the young man so, Lottie why you don’t keep your Saviour.

    Lottie
    But look who talking, Mabel Grimes when is the last day you see a church door, boosie

    Mabel
    I too shame, since you thief the people money you did to collect for the harvest

    Lottie
    So long as I ain’t  thief the false teeth the big gucks man you got put in your mouth to try to make you look young; but you could never look young, you know, you got to get them duppy tucks out your face first (laughter from audience)

    Mabel
    Check your self and find out what old, you old poor great shunna-foot poppet

    Lottie
    Look, look, let me go long about my  business before I sin my soul in here today

    Mabel
    Go long, go long, good riddance to bad rubbish too; get you old hard self out my house, you popsie face bread-fruit swopper

    Lottie
    I got house too boosie and Praise Christ mine don’t leak

    Mabel
    Look woman go long or it going be me and you in here today.  I sorry enough I didn’t had little duppy dust to put in your tea. (erupted laughter from audience) 
 

Metadata
Title:Tea for Two
Publisher:Alfred Pragnell